Cold days long nights
by LittleJaneway
Summary: An unknown force boards the ship. JC eventually. I suck at summaries
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own some peanut butter, but I do not own Voyager. Paramount does. The good part: if we want peanut butter sandwiches…party at my house.

Summary: Something wicked this was comes.

**Chapter 1: Cold Days and Early Mornings**.

Chakotay found him self very wide awake at a very early hour. He sat up in bed and had the computer confirm for him what he already knew. It was 0400 hours, and it was the third time this week that he woke up at this time for absolutely no apparent reason.

He pulled the covers back and climbed out of the bed. He headed to the replicator and replicated a cup of hot tea with some honey in it. Chakotay sat down on his couch and watched the stars go by as he slowly sipped his tea. If this was anything like the last two times, he would be exhausted enough to sleep again in about fifteen minutes.

This pattern was starting to confuse him slightly. As far as he could tell there was no dream that was setting it off. The ship was in a relatively peaceful area of space, so there were no disruptions in his sleep from battles or red alert claxons sounding. He shook his head and took another sip from his tea. Still something else was waking him up. Something else was trying to get his attention.

Chakotay finished his tea, placed the cup in the recycler and then headed back to the bedroom. On his way there he could have sworn he heard rustling coming from Kathryn's room. He hoped it was simply her getting an early start to the day since she was on the alpha shift, and not anything else. He figured he would ask her about it when he got on shift later on. Right now he was far more concerned with getting a bit more sleep. He felt an odd brush of cool air on the side of his face as he lay back down on the bed.

* * *

Kathryn skipped coffee when she woke up. For the first time, she actually didn't need it. She had woken up around four am, and was wide awake and energetic. She cleaned her quarters, got ready for her shift, and got three reports read. At first it didn't feel all that unusual, until she realized she had only had roughly two hours of sleep and hadn't had any caffeine in about fourteen hours. 

When she reached the bridge, her wave of energy had faded. She went to her ready room and got her cup of coffee. She sat down at her desk and looked at the pile of reports sitting in front of her. She had, had the energy earlier this morning to take on the world; now a few reports were staring at her as though they could take her in a round of velocity.

Before she even had the chance to get to get started on the, some-what important reading of the reports, the door chime went off.

"Come in." She said. She already had a sneaking suspicion who it was before they even walked through the door.

"Morning Captain." Chakotay said. He had the crooked smile on his face that made her stomach to little flip flops.

"Good morning Commander. What can I help you with?"

"Just wanted to check in with you, see if there were any reports I could take off your hands."

Kathryn got up from her desk, grabbed a few of the P.A.D.D's as she walked around and handed them to Chakotay. She could have sworn she felt a cool breeze as she made her way around the desk. She didn't give it another thought, but the feeling stayed with her.

"Be my guest, Chakotay. I'm definitely not in the mood to handle any more of these then I need to." Kathryn said.

"Long night?" he asked

"More like too short." She said. She smiled at him softly. "It's nothing to be worried about though, it's not as though I haven't gone many nights with little sleep before." She added when she saw the concerned look in his eyes.

Chakotay thought about telling her that he was awake far too early this morning as well, but decided against it. Her one night awake at four am, wasn't the same as his three. He didn't want to draw attention to something that might have been simply Kathryn's body acting weird.

"Glad to help. Dinner tonight?" He said. He took the P.A.D.D's from her hand and when his fingers brushed against his hers; his heart almost skipped a beat. He looked at her and the sparks that were there were undeniable to both of them.

"Only if it's in your quarters. My replicator has once again decided to be my enemy." Kathryn answered. She smiled at him then moved back to her desk. She adjusted her uniform before sitting back down.

"Nine-teen hundred hours?" Chakotay said as he followed her over to the desk.

"I'll see you then."

Chakotay exited the ready room and almost ran headlong into Tuvok who was going in for the daily security report. The two said their apologies and their hellos before they returned to their directions.

* * *

Kathryn was ready to simply put her head down on her desk and sleep after Chakotay left, but Tuvok entered immediately after. She had forgotten about the daily security report, which wasn't at all like her. She blamed it on the lack of sleep, but that still didn't fully explain it. Like she had told Chakotay this wasn't the first time she had gone on very little sleep.

Tuvok had very little to report. Things aboard Voyager had been fairly quiet the last few weeks. Other than a few species of aliens that had been wanting to trade, activity in this region of space had been low. He did mention though that several members of the crew had reported environmental differences in certain sections of the ship. There were areas that had significant changes in temperature, for a few seconds before returning to normal. Tuvok being as efficient as he is had already set someone into looking at it so there was no need for Kathryn to order him to do so.

"Anything else Tuvok?" Kathryn asked once he was done giving his report.

"No Captain." He answered.

"Alright then, dismissed." She said.

Tuvok turned to leave and on his way out he felt something cold. The logical part of him tried to chalk it up to the same environmental problems as the rest of the ship, but there was something else that made his ears struggle to listen a little harder.

"Commander?" Kathryn said. His hesitation was a little unusual and he looked a little distracted. Tuvok didn't immediately answer her. She got up from her chair behind the desk and started towards him. "Tuvok." She said. She was about to put her hand on his shoulder when Tuvok turned suddenly. Startled, Kathryn took a step back.

"I'm sorry Captain." Tuvok said in response to her jumping back. Kathryn looked at him trying to figure out exactly what was going on.

"What is it Tuvok?" She asked.

Tuvok hesitated before he answered. He wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to say anything about something that might very well have been nothing. "I think it was just one of the environmental disturbances Captain. I'll get back to the bridge now." He turned and left, leaving Kathryn in her ready room, not entirely convinced that he was telling the whole story.

* * *

The rest of the day went by fairly slowly and quietly. Kathryn was sure by the end of the day that there was no way that she could possibly read another report. She made her way through the corridors towards her quarters to get changed, thankful for the time she was going to have with Chakotay, and thankful that she was no longer on shift. She was sure that if she wasn't meeting Chakotay for dinner she would in fact, already be sleeping. She wouldn't have even bothered to change out of her uniform.

By the time she had changed into something far more comfortable, Kathryn was late. The very cold blast of air she felt as she was leaving her quarters, she simply chalked up to her hurry. She didn't even notice that the chill it's self took several minutes to leave her after she got into Chakotay's warm quarters.

Chakotay couldn't help but chuckle to him self when the chime on the door rang almost fifteen minutes later than it should have. It wasn't the first time Kathryn had been late for dinner, especially not after a duty shift. He was sure though, that when he opened the door, he would come face to face with a slightly out of breath Kathryn Janeway dressed in a long blue dress. Sure enough, when the doors slid open she was still putting the finishing touches on her hair, pulling a few more of the strands back into the half ponytail that she saved for more casual occasions.

"Sorry I'm late." She said walking into his room.

"Don't worry about it, super won't be ready for a little while yet. I started it late."

"Counting on me to not show up on time?"

"Just expecting the usual." Chakotay said smiling. Kathryn playfully hit him.

"The supper had better be good _Commander_." She smiled as she moved to sit down on his couch.

She breathed in the aroma of his quarters and tried to keep as much of it in her as she possibly could. The more she could take in now, the more she could keep with her when the night inevitably had to end and the two of them had to return to their own rooms and a reality that was becoming harder to face with out each other.

"I wouldn't be able to talk you into tea instead of coffee would I?" Chakotay said going up to the replicator.

"Not tonight. With out it I'm sure I'd fall asleep halfway through dinner."

Chakotay replicated himself a cup of tea and his captain a cup of coffee, black naturally. When he turned to join her on the couch he noticed that she did in look like as though she could fall asleep at any moment, but there was something else there as well. He had seen her tired enough times to know when it was simply lack of sleep or if there might be something that lay deeper causing the problem. He handed her the cup of coffee and then sat down next to her on the couch.

He was about to say something when he felt the cold air. He first felt it on his right elbow and it then moved slowly by him, although it felt to him like it had moved through him. When it finally passed, Kathryn started to shiver.


	2. No sleep for the weary

**No Sleep for the Weary**

"That sure was one hell of an environmental disturbance." Kathryn said. She put the coffee cup down on the table, got up and started walking around to try and gain some warmth back. What ever it was that swept through the quarters felt far more than an environmental disturbance.

"I agree. You might think I'm crazy, but I could have sworn I felt a presence as it passed through." Chakotay said. He was actually sure that there was something else to the cold blast of air, he just didn't know what on earth to make of it.

Kathryn hit her com badge. "Captain to the Bridge."

"Yes, Captain." Came the voice of Ensign Harry Kim.

"The commander and I just experienced one of the environmental disturbances that were reported. Could you scan the ship please Ensign?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes Captain." Chakotay could hear the confusion in the young ensigns voice, and yet Harry knew enough not to question his captain's orders.

Kathryn turned and looked at Chakotay, who was still sitting on the couch. "Is it odd that I find it a bit comforting that the problem might not be with my ship?" She asked him giving him a small smile.

Chakotay couldn't help but smile back. "No. It's not that odd. You can't fight your ship." Kathryn looked oddly hurt at his response. He had forgotten how helpless she could feel during certain situations. In reality anything that put her crew in danger was a horrifying thought, for them both. Chakotay got up off the couch and took her hand in his to try and comfort her. It was freezing, and for the first time since the anomaly had passed through the room he noticed that she was still shivering.

"Kathryn, are you okay?" He said. Kathryn lifted her head to look at him, and he noticed her normally radiant blue eyes were dull and slightly empty.

"I'm fine Commander. Nothing a nice hot cup of hot chocolate wouldn't fix." She said, mostly for his benefit. In truth, Kathryn felt as though the cold that had passed through her took any energy she might have had, and she didn't have much to spare today to begin with.

"Well, lets get you some then why don't we." Chakotay said. He led her over to the replicator to order up a large steaming cup of hot chocolate complete with marshmallows.

"Thank-you Commander. Now, where's that supper I was promised?" She said giving him a smile.

* * *

It wasn't that long after the two of them finished eating that Ensign Kim, contacted them about the results from the scan.

"Janeway here." Kathryn said tapping her com badge, in response to Harry.

"The scan is finished Captain. Everything looks normal." He said. Kathryn could sense that the young Ensign sounded slightly disappointed by the results. He knew his captain well to know that the answer he had given wasn't going to be enough.

"What the Commander and I felt Mr. Kim, was anything but normal, and it sure didn't feel like a simple environmental disturbance." Kathryn said.

Chakotay was clearing away the dishes as the conversation was going on. He was still keeping a close eye on Kathryn, and although some of her colour had returned after eating, she still didn't seem quite herself.

"Even the environmental systems checked out Captain. There has been no fluctuations in the system at all tonight, or all day even." Harry sounded slightly confused. A feeling that both his commanding officers now shared with him.

"How can that be? Tuvok said that people had been reporting them all day." Kathryn asked.

Chakotay started to smile slightly. She was starting to get curious. The only downside to that would be that he wouldn't be able to convince her to sleep, something she obviously needed, until she had some answers at least.

"I'm not sure Captain, but scans are showing everything has been operational." Harry said.

Kathryn was completely baffled by what was going on. If it was in fact an environmental disturbance, as Tuvok had said, then why was there no sign at all that anything was going on. "Ensign Kim, could you run a sensor sweep for any anomalies that the ship might have passed recently. There is a chance that what is going on might be an alien presence, rather than a ship problem."

"I'll get right on it Captain." Harry said.

"Any ideas Chakotay as to what might be going on?" Kathryn said. She was still pacing, and even though the enigma had given her some energy, she was still bloody cold.

"Right now? None." Chakotay said. He could tell that what ever had passed through the quarters was still affecting Kathryn. "There is really nothing to do though until the scans are done. Did you want some desert?"

Kathryn smiled. "Not tonight Chakotay. I don't think I could eat another bite. That supper you made was delicious though." She sat back down on the couch. It took all she had to keep her eyes from closing. Chakotay, although not conscious of why he was doing it, was by her side on the couch almost instantly. Something inside told him that the night still had a few surprises. He might not have been sure what was going on, on the ship tonight, but he was very sure that it wasn't finished yet.

Something inside her was yelling. Kathryn could feel something inside her mind, or body, or somewhere, that was calling out and screaming at her not to sleep. Not to give in just yet, that there was another thing that she needed to be doing. The only thing that all the screaming really accomplished, was that now she had a very large headache and a nagging feeling that sleeping was dangerous. Yet shouldn't help but wonder if part of that train of thought was due to the fact that she didn't really want to leave the commander's room.

"Kim to the Captain." Harry's voice rang of the com systems, startling both Kathryn and Chakotay.

"Janeway here." She replied.

"A disturbance was reported on deck 11, in engineering. Security teams have gone down but they haven't been able to control it." The ensign sounded perplexed. It was a tone that both Kathryn and Chakotay picked up on.

"What kind of disturbance?" The Commander asked. For the first time since the events of the night had started the officers were able to hear shock in Harry's voice. The ensign was surprised that the two of them were sharing each others company so late.

"It was originally reported as an intruder alert sir, but when the security teams arrived, no intruder was found but the attack still continued."

Kathryn placed her hand to her forehead. This day was simply never going to end.

"It Tuvok down there?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes ma'am."

"Let him know that we are on our way." Kathryn said. She then closed the com connection and looked over at her second in command. She wondered what he was doing to keep him self looking so alert through out this entire thing. Chakotay on the other hand was wondering just how much longer he had before his captain was ready to give in to what ever it was that was making her so tired.

"Give me five minutes to change into my uniform and then we'll head down." Kathryn said. Before Chakotay could counter and say that she could stay and relax while he went then reported back to her, Kathryn had left his quarters. Just as she had said, five minutes later she was at his door, and the full Captain's mask was on again.

* * *

The two of them made there way down to engineering with out saying anything to each other. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence by any means. The two of them were close enough friends to be able to sit in the silence and know what the other was thinking. Usually in situations where the crew's safety might be jeopardized, like this one, it was the same thing. There was a synchronicity there that was rare, and very efficient.

Sounds of crashing could be hear long before the two of them actually reached the doors to engineering. This cause the both the Captain and the Commander to break in to a jog. When the doors opened they were shown a scene of what could only be described as chaos. Members of both engineering and the security team had taken cover from the various object that were hurling there way across the room. Chakotay pulled Kathryn behind one of the consoles to take cover themselves.

Kathryn quickly surveyed the room looking for her chief of security. She met his eyes on the other side of the room, before he continued to assess the situation.

"Tuvok what the hell is going on down here?" Kathryn asked. She didn't need to yell. There was no weapons fire noise to yell over, and most of the security team was too stunned by what was happening to say anything at all. The only noise that was being made was the sounds of the various, P.A.D.D's and what ever was loose, she guessed, that were hitting consoles and walls, and the force field that protected the warp core.

"I do not have an answer for you Captain." Tuvok said, in his normally stoic voice. "There is no obvious reason why this should be happening. The scans show no abnormalities, and no alien presence."

Kathryn looked to Chakotay beside her for some sort of answers. He had none.

"Did I sense a hesitation in your voice Commander?" Kathryn called back to Tuvok. He took his time before answering.

"Just because the sensors do not pick up an alien life form, does not mean that there is not one here." He said. He chose his words carefully. He did not know for sure that there was something in engineering, but he did sense that there was a presence here that should not be.

"What do you mean Tuvok?" This time it was Chakotay asking, since Kathryn seemed to be contemplating his answer.

"I am not sure Commander. I only know that something does not seem right." Tuvok answered. An other barrage of P.A.D.D's went flying in various directions through out engineering before stopping completely.

Chakotay hesitated to stand up. He couldn't imagine that a flying P.A.D.D might do much damage, but he didn't want the bruises that it would cause. Tuvok and the others in engineering followed his lead. Everyone except Kathryn who was still on the floor. Chakotay's stomach froze and jumped into his throat. He knelt back down beside her, and looked in to her still wide open eyes, but there was nothing there to stare back out at him. Kathryn had fallen asleep.


	3. Something Wicked This Way Enters

Disclaimer: I own some peanut butter, but I do not own Voyager. Paramount does. The good part: if we want peanut butter sandwiches…party at my house.

Summary: Something wicked this was comes.

**Chapter 2: Something Wicked This Way Enters**

Chakotay shook Kathryn's shoulder, in a vain attempt to try and wake her. He knew before he even tried that it was useless. Whatever had gotten into the ship now had a firm grasp on his captain as well.

Tuvok sensed instantly that something was wrong. His attention wavered from the disturbance that had just gone on in engineering, to the fact that Commander Chakotay was now kneeling next to his Captain shaking her. The presence that he had sensed a moment ago had now dissipated. He could still feel it, but not at the power that he once had. It made him wonder if it was now responsible for the state of his captain.

Tuvok went to Chakotay's side to see if he could be of any assistance. What Tuvok saw when he reached his Captain, made him question his eyes. He did not see his long time friend looking out from the blue spheres in her head. He saw something more sinister. He looked to Chakotay to see if there was anything that he noticed. It was clear from the Commander's eyes that he was only worried about what had happened to the Captain. Chakotay had called for a site to site transport of the Captain to sick bay.

Kathryn walked along the beach, letting the water come up and wet her feet. The sounds of the waves brought a certain calmness to her mind that had been lacking since her days on New Earth. Everything here was so real, and yet she knew it wasn't. It was like the vision quest she had taken with Chakotay that one time long ago. Real but not. She had never had a dream this vivid. It added to the feeling that something wasn't quite right.

As she walked along the edge of the water, she noticed that the water was starting to change colour. It changed from the vibrant blue green that it was to and odd shade of purple, and then to black. Kathryn stepped back, away from the waters reach, but the water kept closing in on her.

Chakotay and Tuvok entered sick bay, anxious to hear news of the Captain. They were greeted by the Doctor, who was moving quickly around the different stations in sick bay, but didn't seem to be panicking in any way. This eased Chakotay's knotted heart some.

"Report Doctor." Chakotay said, not showing the worry in his voice.

"For all intensive purposes Commander she is asleep." The doctor replied, but Chakotay could sense a hesitation in his voice.

"I hear a "but" in your voice Doctor." He said.

"Something has appeared on the monitors that I can't explain." The Doctor showed both Chakotay and Tuvok the monitor that was displaying Kathryn's brain activity. "This wave here shows that she's in REM sleep, but there is a slight variation to it that I can't explain."

Tuvok made his way over to the Captain. He was concerned to see that her eyes were still open and staring blankly at the ceiling of sick bay. He had thought about closing them, but for reason he could not logically explain he reached for her hand instead. Instantly his mind flooded with images of the Captain, first running from an unknown attacker and then screaming in agony. The images startled him, but he forced him self to hold on to the link as long as he could. The next flash of images were of the Captain appearing to be healthy, but when Tuvok's eyes met hers he realized instantly that he was looking into the eyes of something completely different. It smiled at him using Kathryn's face, but it was twisted and mean. A face his Captain could never make.

Tuvok, felt himself get pulled away from the captain, and felt his mind try and focus on what he was seeing now, rather than what the link had shown him. It had been a long time since he had a vision such as that one.

"Commander, are you alright?" He heard the Doctor ask him. Tuvok took a moment to collect him-self and push away the distorted image he had of the being inside his old friend.

"I think I know what that 'slight variation' might be doctor." Tuvok's voice showed no sign of the inner turmoil he just went through.

"I'm all ears." The Doctor replied.

Tuvok took another moment before speaking, and in that moment Chakotay knew that he wasn't going to say something that he would want to hear.

"It is an alien entity. I believe it is trying to get control of the captain to get control of the ship." Tuvok said, and Chakotay found him self needing to lean on something to keep from falling over. The Doctor on the other hand moved quickly towards the medical station to try and find evidence that what Tuvok had said was true.

Chakotay couldn't comprehend how this was happening, and yet when he thought about it, the signs of were there. Starting from the lingering cold in his quarters earlier in the evening. He had noticed a change in her then, not in personality necessarily, but in demeanor. She had seem tired and although he had a feeling that there might be something else to it he did pass it off as her being a little more tired than usual. He wished now that he could have gotten her down to sick bay sooner. He definitely wished that he hadn't brought her to the place where the entity was active.

"I think I found it." The Doctor said, interrupting Chakotay's thoughts. He went to join the Doctor in front of the view screen at the station.

"What is it?" Chakotay asked.

"It's another brain pattern. Hidden here behind the waves for REM." The Doctor pointed to the distinct black waves that almost matched Kathryn's REM wave. "I wouldn't be surprised Commander, if it put the Captain in REM sleep specifically for the purpose of disguising it's self. If Commander Tuvok hadn't told me to look then I might never have found it since it so closely matches the Captains'."

"What can we do to get it out of her?" Chakotay asked. His only concern right now was to save her.

The water that was chasing Kathryn changed into a being of some kind. It was wearing all black, with black eyes and black hair. Kathryn only caught a glimpse of it once before she started to run, and its twisted smile had yet to leave her memory. After what seemed like hours Kathryn finally stopped running. She took a break at the top of a hill, in a place where she could look down and see everything.

She was confused. She was sure she was dreaming yet, if this was her dream why would she pick such a foreign place? Why was she so aware of the fact that she was dreaming? All questions Kathryn wanted answers to, but didn't have much time to think about.

"I'm done chasing." Said a hollow voice from behind her. For someone who was normally so calm and stoic in her approach, she couldn't burry the fear this time. She turned and came to face with her pursuer.

"What are you?" Kathryn said.

"Someone in need of a ship and an army. You have both, and I plan to make it mine." It said. She couldn't tell if she was more unnerved by the emotionless hollow voice that was coming from this obvious shell of a body, or by what it had said. She had remembered what Kes had gone through when her consciousness was taken over, and wasn't in any hurry to have the same experience.

"My crew is not an army, and they will not serve to help in any war." She responded. She managed to keep her voice strong and didn't give into the growing uncertainty of the situation.

"I have watched your crew for days now. They will follow you anywhere." The alien said. It seemed amused that instead of running, Kathryn had chosen to indulge in conversation with it. As though it already knew that it was futile for her to do so.

"Not into a conflict that we have no dealings it. It is not part of their nature to follow blindly."

"We shall see." The alien struck out at Kathryn, but Kathryn was quicker. She dodged to the side and the Alien ended up punching the tree that was behind her. Kathryn got to her feet and stood to face the alien. "Tricky. You've still got fight in you yet, but you'll tire soon enough." It came at her again.

The sounds coming from the sickbay monitors were alerting the Doctor of the changes in the Captain's vitals. Chakotay rushed to the Captain's side while the Doctor quickly made his way to his machines to see what they were screaming at him about. Tuvok stood stoically in the centre of sickbay where he could see both men and his long time friend, watching everything that was going on carefully incase he was needed for something.

"Her heart rate has jumped, and her brain activity has spiked well beyond that of someone who is simply in REM sleep." The Doctor said. He was furiously tapping away at the keypad trying to make heads or tails of the information it was giving him.

"What does that mean?" Chakotay asked.

"She is not sleeping." Tuvok stated. His calm voice grated on Chakotay's nerves just slightly. The Commander knew the Vulcan worried for his Captain and his friend, but hearing him talk as though nothing was difficult, to say the least.

Chakotay stood by Kathryn's side wanting to reach out to her to let her know that he was there if she should need him in anyway. He noticed that her hand had clenched into a fist strong enough to make her knuckles go white.

"That's correct Commander. Though, with the activity that I'm seeing I can't imagine how she'll be able to go much longer with out resting. The stress on her body right now is equivalent to her running a triathlon." Doctor said.

The three men looked up as the Captain cried out and a cut appeared across her face. Chakotay looked from the Doctor to Tuvok for some sign of what to do next. He looked to Tuvok whose brows were furrowed in concern, at least as much concern as was possible for a Vulcan.

"Tuvok, is there anything you suggest? Anything that would come to mind?" Chakotay asked. He wasn't able to keep the desperation from appearing in his voice.

Tuvok took a moment to think. He knew that the only way was to get rid of the alien presence from inside the Captain's subconscious, but the only way he could think of doing it was in a manor the doctor wouldn't approve of.


	4. In Dreams

Disclaimer: I own some peanut butter, but I do not own Voyager. Paramount does. The good part: if we want peanut butter sandwiches…party at my house.

Summary: Something wicked this was comes.

**Chapter 4: In Dreams**

Kathryn had started to run once more. She pulled from energy reserves she didn't know she had, and when those ran out, she found more. She searched the country side high and low for a place she could stop and rest but everything was flat and shapeless.

"You can not run forever. I'll catch up to you soon enough." Came the alien's voice from all over. The echo was so loud that it hurt her ears. The shape of the land suddenly changed and she found herself deep in the midst of a jungle. The air was think, and heavy. It was becoming hard for her to breathe with all the moisture in the air. "If you aren't going to play properly, than neither am I."

She chanced a look behind her to see if he was still there, and was almost relieved to find that he wasn't. Kathryn stepped behind a tree and tried to catch her breath, and once more attempted to get a sense of where she was. There was no denying it now, she was dreaming. A dream land that was created by this alien to keep her hostage, but a dream land none the less. She only had to find away to get out. A way to wake up; although there was no way for her to know if when she woke up that the alien would be gone. What she did know was that she couldn't stay in one spot for too long, so she started again, only this time she walked.

She felt as though she had walked for hours when she saw a form up ahead. It was Chakotay. Her heart soared with the sight of him.

"Chakotay." She said as she walked up to him. Instead of turning to great her, he started running. For a split second she had started to follow him, before realizing that it was a trap. She smiled. "You can't trick me that easily." She only whispered it, but she knew the alien could hear her. She continued to follow the trail that Chakotay had run down for a bit, but then started down another. The more she changed directions the better off she was.

Kathryn had just started down another path when once again she saw the back of her XO. This time she didn't give him the chance to turn around before she walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He turned around and grabbed her by the throat, slamming her back hard into the tree. Through the spots that were growing in her line of site, she saw the brown eyes of the former maquis. She saw his tattoo and the twisted smile that was on his face, and although she was sure that this was part of a trick played by the alien, the lack of oxygen combined with her exhaustion made her mind play its own tricks.

Finding some ounce of energy, Kathryn reached up and pulled a branch down and used it to hit Chakotay across the head. It worked and he let go of her. She fell to the ground and the spots that were in front of her eyes started to disappear, while he stumbled back into another tree. Before Kathryn was able to get back up Chakotay started towards her once more and he looked pissed off. A shot rang out and the alien Chakotay that was in front of her now had a growing red spot in the center of its chest. She watched with a mixture of horror and confusion.

"Kathryn!"

That was a voice she knew. "Chakotay?" she said. Her voice was barely above a whisper. Her throat was sore from the strangling she had just experience.

"Kathryn, thank god." Chakotay was beside her. His brown eyes were warm unlike those she had looked into only moments before. "Are you alright?"

"Yes I'm fine. How did you get here? Is it really you?"

He smiled at her. "The doctor had an idea, and yes it really is me. Come on, we have to start moving, before he finds you again." He helped her to her feet and for the first time she realized just how exhausted she was when her legs weren't able to support her legs any longer and she almost fell back down once more.

"Take it easy. You've been here for almost twelve hours now, and before that you had what maybe two hours sleep? Then a fourteen hour day on the bridge." Chakotay said. He smiled at her as he lifted her to her feet once again, this time supporting her weight so she could stand.

"Has it been twelve hours? How are things on the ship? Have the anomalies stopped?" Kathryn worked to put the pain that she felt in her legs to the back of her mind so she could once again support her own weight and walk beside Chakotay.

"Too many questions all at once, I'll answer them as we walk. Let's go." He said. The two of them started down another dark and musty path. The further into the jungle she went the thicker the air was and the harder it was for Kathryn to breathe.

"Chakotay, the ship?" Kathryn said after they had walked quite a bit down the one path. Chakotay kept checking behind him to see if there was anything following them. Kathryn had the sneaking suspicion that the alien didn't need to follow on foot.

"It's fine. After you ended up...here, the activity stopped." He explained. Kathryn felt a sense of relief. At least her crew was fine, even if the two of them were stuck in this place.

Before she had a chance to ask Chakotay what the doctor's plan was to get them out of here, the scenery once again changed in front of Kathryn's eyes. This time the scene she was greeted with was one that she knew all too well. The panic rose in her stomach as she noticed her breath on the cold air. The ice of Tau Ceti Prime was a place that she had not wished to visit in this dream land or any others. Only in nightmares now did it haunt her. Chakotay must have sensed her discomfort and put her arm around her.

"Well now what do we do?" He said. The two of them stood in the snow and looked out over the white landscape and knew that there would be no place to hide here.

"Now we just keep walking. Hiding spot or no, we won't last long in this cold." She said. She wrapped her arms around her self in a vain attempt to keep warm.

"Aye Captain."

The two of them walked for some time. Kathryn was starting to worry that they hadn't heard from the mysterious alien in black in quite sometime. She was uneasy with not knowing what his plans were. She was even more uneasy when she noticed that the next part they had to cross was a lake, and the ice did not look particularly stable. When the time came for the two of them to step on to the ice Kathryn stopped.

"What's wrong?" He asked when she stopped.

"Is this the only way across?"

Chakotay looked at her, and could see the fear in her eyes. "I'll be with you the entire time." He extended his hand and cautiously she took it. Between the nearly two days without any sleep and the running for her life for the last fourteen hours now, she didn't have the energy to argue with him, and they didn't have the time to second guess the way they needed to go.

They had taken maybe ten steps on the ice before Kathryn had heard the sound that made her heart stop. It echoed across the ice and in her panic Kathryn let go of Chakotay's hand and started to back up towards the shore. Chakotay turned to look at her, and she noticed the question in his eyes. It was almost as if he hadn't heard the sound. Before she could tell him to join her on the shore, he disappeared beneath the ice.

The only thought that was going through Kathryn's head was _'no not again.'_ Her legs gave out and she collapsed on to the snow as the scream came uncontrollably from her mouth. She started to crawl towards the hole where he fell through not even thinking that the ice might still be unstable. The only thing that was going through her mind was that she couldn't lose another man she loved to the ice on this planet. She had already forgotten that it was just a dream.

Chakotay and Tuvok had arrived in time to see a black watery hand reach up from the ice and drag Kathryn under.

"Kathryn! NO!" Chakotay's desperate cry echoed across the ice. He started to run towards her, but Tuvok held him back.

"If we go on to that ice we'll end up in the water as well, which will not be helpful to the Captain." The Vulcan said.

"We can't just let her die under that water!"

"There is no water here Commander. It is a created land."

"She doesn't know that!" Chakotay was starting to get a bit flustered by the Tuvok's ability to stay calm after seeing the captain dragged under the ice. He was also amazed that, even though he knew that the land in front of him wasn't real, he was starting to feel the cold from the icy wind, and the snow beneath his feet.

"The Captain is not dense Commander. It has been three hours since she has been held hostage by this alien. I'm sure that she knows that this land is not what it seems." Tuvok explained. As much as Chakotay was getting annoyed at Tuvok for being calm, Tuvok was getting equally tired of the commander jumping to one conclusion after another. It made him wonder how the man had managed to stay alive for so long.

Chakotay took a deep breath and realized that Tuvok was right. Still, he knew that dreams didn't always follow the same laws of time that the rest of the world did. Just because it had been an agonising three hours for him, doesn't mean she had been here for three hours trying to out run this alien. It could have been much longer, days even. His blood ran cold at the thought of what she might have been through in a land where normal laws didn't apply. He knew somehow, that if they weren't able to get him soon they would lose her. He also knew that if the alien had been able to get Kathryn to let her guard down, it must have done something drastic. That thought alone was enough to make his heart stop, let alone the vision of Kathryn's body being dragged beneath the icy landscape that was in front of them.

"Tuvok, if this is a dream world, are you able to manipulate the scenery? Change it to a place where there is no water, no ice?"

The Vulcan gave the obligatory one eyebrow lift at Chakotay's suggestion. "It is a possibility."

"If she thinks that she is in icy waters right now, we're losing precious time. We can not count on the doctor to keep her vitals stable forever."

"I agree." Tuvok closed his eyes and focused on the memories of Captain Janeway. He searched for a place and time that would be familiar to the Captain and therefore comforting. When he opened his eyes he was greeted by a field of knee high grass instead of the snow and ice that they had originally encountered.

No more than fifty feet where the commander and he stood was the captain, laying on the ground with a being dressing in black standing over her. There was what looked like an aura field emanating from the Captain and transferring to the alien. With out hesitation the two officers ran in the direction of their captain. Chakotay was the first to reach them and the first to land a good kick to the alien's side. The alien tumbled but recovered quickly. Chakotay couldn't help but be disturbed by its quick reaction and the cruel smile that was across its dark features.

"The two commanders have come to her aid?" The alien said. The tone was one more of amusement than it was of surprise. "Do you think that in this place you will ever have the upper hand?"

"Tell us what you want." Chakotay demanded, ignoring the Mr. Black's obvious attempt at bravado.

The alien's face suddenly went serious. "It is as I told your captain; I need a ship and an army. She has both."

"We are not an army." Tuvok said. He had bent down next to Janeway's unconscious form to check her pulse, needing to know for himself that his friend's soul was still alive. He was thankful to know that she was in fact still breathing and still had a heart that beat within.

"Then a ship will do." The alien said.

"You will need a crew to run the ship, and this crew will not work for someone who has killed their captain." Chakotay said. For Kathryn's sake he was trying to keep his head. What he really wanted to do was drill his fist into the alien's face, but he had the feeling that for the moment, it was still Mr. Black's game.

"They will if they think that I am their captain." The alien started to move in the direction of Kathryn's body, but Chakotay and Tuvok moved to shield her from him, a movement that made the alien laugh. "Do you think that you can win here? I created this land, I make the rules."

"We did not come here under your rules." Tuvok said. He closed his eyes and when he opened them both he and Chakotay had phasers in their hands, neither waited long before taking a shot. Both shots hit the alien in the center of the chest, which caused Mr. Black to stumble, but not fall. The once black eyes on the alien now seemed to be a dark silver which Chakotay found to be even more menacing.

"Finally, someone who can play." Mr. Black said. His face twisted into a demented smile then he disappeared. Tuvok and Chakotay looked around to try and see where he went, and found him next to Janeway's prone form. The alien was standing over her wearing the same smile that made Chakotay's stomach twist on the inside. He knew there would be no way to get to her, before Mr. Black could do anything to her.

"Get away from her." Chakotay said. He tried to keep his voice calm so the alien wouldn't know exactly how much it bothered him that the alien was near Kathryn.

"I don't think I will." The alien said. "I'm going to see just how much she wants to play." Chakotay and Tuvok watched as the alien changed in front of their eyes to another Commander Chakotay, then bent down and stroked the side of Kathryn's face softly. She stirred and came back to consciousness.


	5. Waking Up Almost

Disclaimer: I own some peanut butter, but I do not own Voyager. Paramount does. The good part: if we want peanut butter sandwiches…party at my house.

Authors note: I just want to thank Cori for being my wonderful and patient beta, and for helping to nudge me along. smiles

**Chapter 5: Waking up...almost.**

The first thing that Kathryn was aware of when she came to was that she was no longer on a bed of ice, but a bed of grass instead. The second thing she noticed was the form of her first officer standing above her with a warm smile. Her warm feeling went away when she remembered how she had gotten here in the first place, and she felt the blood drain from her face when she remembered the site of Chakotay falling through the ice. When she sat up she was greeted by another Chakotay and Tuvok who were now starting over to her. Now she was really confused.

"What is going on?" Kathryn said rubbing her bow in an attempt to clear her continuously foggy mind. It seemed to have gotten worse since she had originally entered this dream land.

"The doctor found a way for me to be here remember?" Said the Chakotay that was standing over her. Kathryn attempted to stand up but found her body wouldn't co-operate quite the way she wanted it to.

"But, the ice?" Something wasn't right. "Why are there two of you?" She stopped trying to force her body to get up and let it stay on the ground.

Chakotay watched Kathryn's failed attempt to get up, next to the alien. He worried about how much more she would be able to handle if she stayed here much longer. He had seen the Doctor's last scans before he and Tuvok had initiated the mind meld, and they weren't impressive. The only thing that was standing in the way of him picking her up and trying to find a way to get her to safety was the alien responsible for this situation in the first place. Chakotay couldn't take the chance that Mr. Black might do something to her before he got to her. It didn't stop him or Tuvok from closing the distance though, so they could hear the conversation.

"It's a trick from the alien. He wants you to think they're here for you, to help get you out." He said. Kathryn looked up into the eyes of the Chakotay that was walking towards her next to her security officer, and then to the one that was standing right beside her. There was something different about the eyes.

"How do I know you aren't the trick?" She did her best to put the captain's mask in place and show that this _game_ wasn't getting the best of her.

"What does your heart tell you Kathryn?" He put his hand out for her to grab, to help her off the grass. Kathryn looked into his eyes and noticed something different, but she couldn't quite place it. She looked into the eyes of the Chakotay that was walking towards her, and there was only the deep brown warmth that she had come to know and love. When she looked back to the one standing above her she saw something else. Something sliver and cold that she didn't recognize.

"My brain tells me that you will not fool me again." Kathryn said. She summoned her last ounce of strength to get up and run in the direction of Chakotay and Tuvok.

Chakotay opened his arms to catch the ever falling Kathryn as she neared him, when he saw behind her Mr. Black change back to his original form. The next few seconds felt like about fifteen minutes. He saw the look of malice in the now silver eyes, and then saw a sword appear in the alien's hand. Before Kathryn had a chance to reach him and before he even managed to blink Mr. Black was between him and Kathryn.

"Enough games." The alien said as he plunged the sword into Kathryn's stomach. Chakotay's saving grace was that Tuvok had his phaser raised and fired before the alien had a chance to make his get away, hitting him in the head this time. Chakotay rushed forward to catch Kathryn as she fell.

There was a loud screeching sound as the alien seemed to disintegrate in front of their eyes. Once Mr. Black was gone, thing around them began to quickly disappear. It was a land he created and it could not be sustained with out him. Once the scenery was gone, Kathryn also vanished causing Chakotay to start to panic.

Tuvok placed a hand on his shoulder. "The Doctor is no doubt treating her as we speak Commander."

"Let's get out of here." Chakotay said.

When the two of them exited the mind meld they were greeted by a very unfriendly doctor. "What the hell happened!?" He said as he furiously worked around Kathryn, pushing both Chakotay and Tuvok out of the way once he saw that they were out of the meld.

"How is she?" Chakotay said as soon as he managed to shake the haze that the mind meld had caused.

"Where would you like me to start commander? She has several internal injuries, signs of hypothermia, contusions almost every where and she is in a coma because of blood loss from what appeared to be a stab wound in her abdomen."

"Will the captain be alright?" Tuvok asked, since Chakotay had yet to find the ability to speak.

"If you two step back and let me work I'll be better able to give you her status in a short while." His tone softened when he saw the look on commander Chakotay's face, and although Vulcan, the doctor could have sworn he saw a hint of worry in commander Tuvok's eyes.

The two commanders stepped back and let the doctor do his work. Once at an objective distance Chakotay could see just how much of a strain her body had been under in the last few hours. Sometime while he and Tuvok were scanning her mind for the alien, the doctor had put her in a medical gown which was now stained crimson from her blood. On the areas of skin that were exposed Chakotay could see the light shade of purple that signified bruises that were starting to develop. The site of her was starting to make his stomach turn, and the vice that was on his heart from the moment she went unconscious started to grip even tighter.

"Doctor, let me know when you're done. Excuse me." Chakotay turned and left sickbay without so much as offering where he would be in the meantime and without stopping to hear them question his leaving.

He started heading to his quarters, but found quickly enough that he didn't want to be there. He wanted to be back in sickbay with Kathryn, he wanted to be there holding her hand while the doctor repaired the damage the alien had caused. He went to the next door down the hall and used his security codes to get in to her quarters. For reasons he didn't quite understand he made his way to her bedroom, and collapsed on the bed exhausted. It was on her bed, where he could smell her perfume the most that he realized how close to losing her he had come, again. Too many times had he ended up here in her room, waiting for word from the doctor that she was in the clear. Too many times he had spent hours in this room amongst the familiar sent of her, wondering if this was the last time he would have to do this. If she had left him for good, like she had threatened to do so many times.

The chirp of the com stirred Chakotay from the exhaustion induced sleep. "Chakotay here."

"The captain is 'out of the woods' as they say." Came the Doctor's steady voice.

"On my way." Chakotay got up from the bed and tried to clear away the vision of Kathryn being pulled under the ice, before making his way to sickbay.

When the doors parted and Chakotay walked through he was greeted by a more promising sight than when he had left. Kathryn looked alive again, rather than a corpse, although her eyes were still closed. Tuvok was no longer there, and since Chakotay didn't know how long it had been he assumed that the Vulcan had returned to the bridge.

"How is she?" He asked.

"All of the internal bleeding was stopped and her temperature was brought back to normal." The doctor said. He was standing behind the console checking the readings that were coming from the biobed.

"Is she still in a coma?"

"No. She came out of a coma as soon as I was able to replace the blood that she had lost, and restored her temperature. I haven't woken her yet. I figured that you would want to be here when I did." The Doctor said. Chakotay only nodded his response as he made his way to Kathryn's side. He gripped her hand as the Doctor pressed the hypospray to her neck. Nothing felt as good as when he got to see her blue eyes flutter open once more.

The first thing Kathryn realized when she was aware of her body again, was that it felt as though she had played fifty rounds of velocity in a row. She hurt everywhere. The next thing she realized was that someone was holding her hand. Her heart warmed when she knew that it could only be once person.

"Chakotay…" She said, through it was barely above a whisper. Her mouth was dry, and she found that there was too much effort in trying to do anything past that.

"I'm here." He said. The doctor was standing close with a medical tricorder making sure that her vitals remained stable.

Kathryn couldn't get her mind to focus on the things that happened. She remembered an alien had been terrorizing the ship, but she couldn't remember what happened, and she certainly couldn't remember anything happening that would have landed her in sickbay.

"What happened?" She said as she tried to sit up. He body was yelling at her along the way, but neither the doctor nor Chakotay tried to stop her.

"An alien invaded the ship." Chakotay said. He didn't want to have to explain too much of the situation if she didn't remember. Some thing that happened were probably best to forget.

"How did I end up in sickbay?"

"As usual Captain the alien decided to make your life difficult." The Doctor said. "This time using your body as the host for its plan." The Doctor closed his tricorder and headed back over to the console to analyze the information.

Kathryn looked up to Chakotay for confirmation on what the Doctor said. "He created a dream world and kept you in it. Tuvok and I were able to go in using a mind meld and rescue you." He said, his voice soft and soothing. Kathryn started to remember some things but they were fuzzy and disjointed, just as a dream might be. She remembered flashes of Chakotay, and a man dressed entirely in black. She shivered when an all too familiar feeling of dread set its self in her stomach.

"You are physically fine, but I would like to keep you here overnight captain." The doctor's voice reminded her of where she was, but she didn't reply to his statement, which caused both Chakotay and the Doctor to give each other looks of concern. Captain Janeway not putting up a fight about having to stay in sickbay was completely unheard of. "Captain did you hear me?"

"Yes, Doctor. I would prefer to go back to my quarters though." Kathryn said. She started to get up off the bio-bed when she noticed that her hand was still in Chakotay's and she had no desire at this time to let it go. She had a feeling that if she did her world would go cold.

Chakotay noticed that she had started to squeeze his hand a bit tighter. "Doctor if it's okay with you, I'll make sure she's okay tonight. We'll call you if anything comes up." He suggested.

The Doctor looked that the commander and could see that this was not a fight worth having. "I would like to place a cortical monitor on her for tonight to monitor, but I see no reason for her not to go and relax in her quarters. As long as you promise that you will keep a good eye on her commander."

Kathryn squeezed Chakotay's hand again. "I will Doctor." He said.

"We'll talk tomorrow about when you should return to duty Captain." The doctor said. He affixed the cortical monitor to the side of the Captain's head just behind her ear. "I'm going to get a site to site transport, so that if you get tired the commander doesn't have to carry you the rest of the way. No need to add to Mr. Paris's betting pools." The Doctor gave them a smile.

"Thank you Doctor." Kathryn said before her and Chakotay disappeared into the blue transporter light.


	6. Long Nights New Beginnings

Disclaimer: I own…this laptop. And a large amount of shoes. Paramount owns all of Star Trek. Lucky bastards.

Authors note: This marks the first time I've completed a chaptered fanfiction. Thanks to Cori who was my ever patient beta.

**Long Nights. New Beginnings**

When they arrived in her quarters Kathryn went to the couch and sat down. She was tired, and she knew that she should lie down but nothing was going to make her do that just yet. Not until she got rid of the foreboding feeling that accompanied the very thought of sleep.

"Did you want some tea?" Chakotay replicated himself a cup of chamomile tea with honey and waited for an answer that never came from Kathryn. "Kathryn?" Her eyes looked up at him from the spot on the carpet they were intent on burning a hole through. He remembered the emptiness they held when she fell asleep in engineering and how afraid he felt. The look of fear in her eyes now replaced that memory in Chakotay's mind.

"Yes, please Chakotay." She said. She knew she was worrying him, and hated it, but there wasn't anything she could do at this point to fix that. Chakotay placed the two cups of tea on the table in front of her, and joined her on the couch. Kathryn expected that the questions about what she remembered, and what she was feeling would come next, but they didn't. Instead he sat there with her, in silence on the couch.

It took two cups of chamomile tea before Kathryn dozed off to sleep on the couch, her head in Chakotay's lap. Chakotay himself had no desire to sleep after the events of the day. He wanted to make sure that she would wake up again. When she did, then he would consider a long nap to get rid of the exhaustion that he felt. Now though, he found that he was watching the rise and fall of her chest making sure that there she was still alive and still breathing. There was no way he was ever going to forget the sight of the alien pushing the sword through Kathryn. He shook his head; on second thought, sleep might evade him for days.

Gently he picked her head up off his lap and placed it down on the couch. Then he carefully got up from the couch and made his way to the door hoping Kathryn wouldn't wake in the few minutes it would take him to grab his medicine buddle from his quarters and return. It was a risk he would have to take though he badly needed his guide's counsel. When he returned he found a spot on her living room floor, not far from where Kathryn was on the couch, unrolled the bundle, and set about to contact his spirit guide.

"Ckatokay!" Kathryn bolted up from her position on the couch. Both her shout and the sudden movement startled Chakotay from his meditation.

"I'm here, I'm here." He said, returning from the spot on the floor to her side on the couch and taking her hands, her once again freezing hands, in his.

Kathryn found that she couldn't keep her self from shaking as she repeatedly touched Chakotay to make sure that he was there and not just another figment of her imagination. Her nightmare had shaken her. It may have been a dream but she felt as though, she had once again lost a man she loved to ice. Coupled with her experiences in the alien's scenarios, the dream had made her even more uncertain of where imagination and reality blended.

"You are here." She said when she was finally convinced that he was sitting there on the couch beside her, and that this scene wasn't the dream.

"What happened?" His voice instantly soothed her and the cold from the dream started to fade.

"You went under the ice, and I couldn't find you any where. It was so cold." Kathryn shivered remembering the feel of the snow under her feet and the despair she felt when she couldn't find the hole in the ice to help him out of the water.

"Hey, look at me." Chakotay said. He tilted her chin so that their eyes met. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" She asked the question before she thought of the consequences.

"I promise. While we're at it how about you don't go any where either? Because I'm already having enough issues with this crisis, and you made it through this time."

"Alright, I promise." Kathryn snuggled back into him and closed her eyes.

Chakotay smiled. "Kathryn?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"If you're going to sleep, then how about we move you to the bed where you're more comfortable?"

"Only if you stay." She whispered.

He hugged her tight. "I said I wasn't going any where." Chakotay lifted her up and carried her to the bed. After he placed her on it, he kicked off his shoes and crawled under the covers with her. Not exactly the situation he had imagined, but it was where he knew he belonged.

Kathryn woke up several times that night struggling with the pain and terror of the things she experienced with the alien. Each time she woke up shaking, Chakotay was there to calm her down and get her back to sleep, only sleep in those spaces that Kathryn did. As he predicted, he kept dreaming of the events that happened and by morning he was sure that he was never going to get the sight of the mangled Kathryn out of his head.

As promised Chakotay brought Kathryn back to the Doctor in the morning, who gave her the once over and reluctantly agreed to clear her for duty, although he said that he would preferred her to take a few more days of rest,. Chakotay promised once again to make sure that Kathryn didn't work too hard and took it easy. When the two of them left sickbay, the Doctor wondered if they were aware that they were holding hands.

Over the next few days the two of them were inseparable. He stayed near to her during their shifts, and right next to her after. At night Kathryn still wouldn't let Chakotay leave, and they went on much the same as the first night. She would wake up several times screaming, and Chakotay would be there to calm her down.

Despite the personal trauma she been through and the lack of sleep at night, she was still the perfect captain. Once again most people wouldn't have known anything was wrong and Chakotay did his best to keep the crew from noticing the changes in his and Kathryn's sleeping habits, and the trauma she went through.

By the fifth night, they both managed to get a full night sleep, but the following night Kathryn still didn't want him to leave. She wasn't ready to chance sleeping on her own. She needed him there with her. She needed his comfort.

After two weeks Chakotay figured it was time to try and let her sleep on her own. He waited for her to fall asleep then snuck back to his own quarters, and for the first time in two weeks he crawled in to his own bed. His own, very empty bed, where he didn't get a wink of sleep.

He had laid there for almost the entire night, trying to figure out how he was going to talk to Kathryn in the morning, when he heard her scream his name through the bulkhead. He hadn't thought what would happen if she woke up and he wasn't there. Chakotay jumped from the bed, pulled his robe on and ran to her room where he found her on her bed sobbing.

"Kathryn, I'm here. What happened?" He took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth to try and get her to calm down.

"Where were you? You promised you wouldn't leave, and then you were just gone." She said. Her voice was weak from the crying. It was the first time in over a week she had dreamt of him falling through the ice and the first time she had woken up and he wasn't there.

"I'm sorry, but I'm here now." He absent mindedly kissed the top of her head. It seemed in that moment they both realized what was going on. Chakotay stopped rocking and Kathryn sat up and tried to straighten her self out. For the first time since the alien attacked there was a wall between them.

Chakotay was the first to break the silence. "Kathryn, we need to talk."

Her stomach did a flip flop. She didn't to talking. Why couldn't he just leave things alone? The last two weeks had been rough, but at the same time wonderful. She didn't want anything to change, and she certainly did not want to admit to not wanting things to change.

"We can't keep doing this." He said.

"Why not?" Kathryn said.

"Kathryn," Chakotay took a deep breath before continuing. "We can not continue to share a bed. I can not continue to share a bed with you, just to share a bed with you. I need more than that." He exhaled. He could feel his heart racing. They had started this conversation before, never in this way mind you, but he was all too familiar with how it went.

Kathryn couldn't even pretend to be surprised by his words. What she was surprised by, was her unwillingness to repeat the same old lines of "protocol" and "duty" that she had before. She could no longer pretend that she could keep him at an arms length and be happy. "Me too." She looked up at him and could see the confusion in his eyes. She let the blanket that was wrapped around her fall and she pulled him into a soft kiss. When they parted she only saw happiness in his eyes. "That is if you're willing to put up with me a while longer."

Chakotay kissed her once more "It better be a long while."


End file.
